Sorrowful Yet Rejoicing

The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. // Job 1:21

At just over 12 weeks gestation, our sweet little one went to be with Jesus yesterday.

It happened so quick. Oh the tears. The hurt is like no other and comes in waves. Wave after wave. It was so hard to leave the home with a baby on Saturday and then to return without one yesterday. We have spent a lot of time together. Resting, praying and weeping. All the while, drawing us closer to Him and to one another.

Matt said last night, we may have lost the baby, but the Lord always had him or her in the first place. Amen. Amen. Amen. We firmly believe that.

In His book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, as yet there was none of them. // Psalm 139:16

What comfort to know that we are not in control. He was and is all along.

After listening to the Ask Pastor John podcast this morning (episode 514), we now envision our beloved Grandma Adeline welcoming her great-grandchild at the gates of heaven and introducing him or her to our Redeemer yesterday.

"Come, there is somebody I want you to meet. His name is Jesus. He is the reason you are here. You don't need to be afraid. Your Savior has led you all the way." 

And that brings us great joy. (And a small part of me wonders if she had sparkles awaiting our little one :))

We are incredibly grateful for the short couple of months we had with our babe, the peace He has provided in this time, the vision of Psalm 71 that He gave me in a dream while it was all unfolding, and the promises and truths found in Scripture. Not that it is easier, but it makes it all a little more bearable as we look away from ourselves and our circumstances to the Cross and the One who bore all of our pain and sorrows.

We are experiencing in the words of Jason DeRouchie "[when mourning of loss is matched by faith in Jesus, there are fresh mercies with every dawn, all because we know] what it means to look on the One who was pierced for us" in a whole new way.

I will pour out on the house of David and the inhabitants of Jerusalem a spirit of grace and pleas for mercy, so that, when they look on Me, on Him whom they have pierced, they shall mourn for Him, as one mourns for an only child, and weeps bitterly over Him, as one weeps over a firstborn. // Zechariah 21:10

The Power of the Cross

Oh to see the dawn,
Of the darkest day:
Christ on the road to Calvary.
Tried by sinful men,
Torn and beat, then
Nailed to a cross of wood.

This the pow'r of the Cross:
Christ became sin for us;
Took the blame, bore the wrath -
We stand forgiven at the cross.

Oh to see the pain
Written on Your face,
Bearing the awesome weight of sin.
Ev'ry bitter thought,
Ev'ry evil deed,
Crowning your bloodstained brow.

Now the daylight flees;
Now the ground beneath
Quakes as its Maker bows His head.
Curtain torn in two,
Dead are raised to life;
"Finished!" the victr'y cry.

Oh to see my name
Written in the wounds,
For through your suffering I am free.
Death is crushed to death;
Life is mine to live,
Won through your selfless love.

This, the pow'r of the cross:
Son of God - Slain for us.
What a love! What a cost!
We stand forgiven at the cross.

The Lord our God knows our pain, and He is faithful. Our souls and hearts and every part of our being know it all too well, even in our sorrowing.

We cling to Romans 8 -

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us... For in this hope we were saved...Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words... And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose... If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things... Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? ... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life .... will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

And Hebrews 10:23 -

holding fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.

Ever so faithful. In life and in death. In our hurting and in our healing. So we can sorrow and rejoice all at the same time. We have lasting hope. Praise God. Because despite our circumstance, He is worthy, oh so worthy, of our praise and glory.

I Will Glory in My Redeemer

I will glory in my Redeemer
Whose priceless blood has ransomed me
Mine was the sin that drove the bitter nails
And hung Him on that judgment tree
I will glory in my Redeemer
Who crushed the power of sin and death
My only Savior before the holy Judge
The Lamb who is my righteousness.

I will glory in my Redeemer
My life He bought, my love He owns
I have no longing for another
I'm satisfied in Him alone.
I will glory in my Redeemer
His faithfulness my standing place
Though foes are mighty and rush upon me
My feet are firm, held by His grace

I will glory in my Redeemer
Who carries me on eagles' wings
He crowns my life with lovingkindness
His triumph song I'll ever sing
I will glory in my Redeemer
Who waits for me at gates of gold
And when He calls me, it will be paradise
His face forever to behold

Family and Friends - We cannot thank you enough for the outpouring of prayers, promises of hope, love, hugs, texts, emails, phone calls, Facebook messages and meals during this time. Thank you for sharing in our joys and in our sorrows. We are experiencing love and care from the body of Christ in a sweet, sweet way. We are without words and are very grateful. Please continue to pray for us, that He may be glorified in this and that He would use this for far greater purposes than we can even imagine.

It Is Well With My Soul

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,

It is well, it is well, with my soul.

-----

And Lord haste the day when my faith shall be sight, 

The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;

The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend, 

Even so, it is well with my soul.

Psalm 71
In you, O Lord, do I take refuge...
In your righteousness deliver and rescue me;

incline your ear to me and save me.

Be to me a rock of refuge,

to which I may continually come...

For you, O Lord, are my hope,

my trust, O Lord, from my youth.

Upon you I have leaned from before my birth;

You are He who took me from my mother's womb.

My praise is continually of you.

I have been a portent to many,

but You are my strong refuge.

My mouth is filled with your praise,

and with Your glory all the day.

Do not cast me off in the time of old age;

forsake me not when my strength is spent...

O God, be not far from me;

O my God, make haste to help me!...

But I will hope continually

and will praise you yet more and more.

My mouth will tell of your righteous acts

of your deeds of salvation all the day,

for their number is past my knowledge.

With the mighty deeds of the Lord God I will come;

I will remind them of your righteousness, yours alone.

O God, from my youth you have taught me,

and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds.

So even to old age and gray hairs,

O God, do not forsake me,

until I proclaim your might to another generation,

for your power to all those who come.

You righteousness, O God,

reaches the high heavens.

You who have done great things,

O God, who is like you?

You who have made me see many troubles and calamities

will revive me again;

from the depths of the earth

You will bring me up again.